The internet slams a man who ‘spoiled’ his girlfriend’s birthday for prioritizing his ex

The internet criticized a man for prioritizing his ex-girlfriend over his partner’s birthday celebrations after a viral post on Mumsnet.

First published on Friday by user RuRue, the story on the popular discussion site sparked a conversation with more than 500 responses.

In the post, the user said, “He spoiled my birthday to accommodate his ex.”

RuRue explained, “It’s my birthday next weekend, and for the first time in years, I’ve made plans. I haven’t really bothered with my last few birthdays for a few really reasons, like depression, finances, etc. I don’t usually drink but I’ve planned to eat a few Glasses of wine in the house on a Friday when the kids go to bed, a bit of pampering, a long bubble bath, then a day on Saturday with my mom. And a bit of shopping, she’d treat me to brunch—kids free.”

She explained that her partner encouraged her to organize this, as he wanted her to take some time off from her mother’s duties, and booked Friday and Saturday off in advance to accommodate her.

But she then revealed that her partner called her: “He called me and said his ex-wife asked him if he’d have the kids next Friday night as an extra contact, so she could go and spend the night at her mom’s house for a break. He didn’t bother with a consultant, just He told her yes and then told me.”

She revealed that this meant her plans were now unable to move forward as there was no way she could handle her partner in care of the six children alone.

She said: ‘After discussing it at length, he thinks the best compromise would be for me to go and stay in a hotel with my younger one for my ‘rest’ and he’ll do the rest on his own, as if to do me a favour.

“So it’s just another night of the night feeding and breaking sleep, only in a hotel and not my surroundings. That’s no fun for me.”

Before asking the forum if she made no sense, she said, “I love children, I only want one thing for myself after making sacrifices for years to accommodate her ex-husband at her fun, concerts, or impromptu visits to friends and family.”

According to data from the US Census Bureau, more than 30 percent of people under the age of 18 in America live in a mixed family environment where their parents live separately and may live with a stepfather or siblings. In 2013, the US Census Bureau reported that about half of all custodial parents have either legal or informal child support agreements and arrangements for dividing time in their child’s care.

Mumsnet users were shocked by the story, and overwhelmingly sided with the woman. One user said, “Go anyway and let it work. I bet his ex knew it was your birthday too. It wouldn’t be a coincidence.”

Another wrote: “Is he always like this? Why is he second in priority to his ex-wife?”

Throughout the next week, the woman continued to update interested users. In a later post, she said, “Thank you all. I want to put my foot down and remind myself that it’s not my problem. I was emotionally blackmailed when he told me because he made it look like he had her, or she might be in danger.”

One response said: “Life is too short for her ex-husband to dictate. If I were you I would honestly consider leaving. The fact that he was happy when you said you were going to a hotel says only so much about how this is seen as a battle being won from you” .

The poster later explained that her other half made her feel increasingly uncomfortable. She said, “It might not be physically abusive, but it’s a gas lit** that’s bringing a lot of trouble into my life and creating an environment where I can’t question it because then I’m stoned or the silent treatment.”

In a later comment, the woman said she had sought help from the British charity Women’s Aid to combat domestic violence after the discussion at the forum.

Mumsnet users praised the woman’s actions and one wrote: “Good luck. You seem to have found yourself angry and will no longer take the consequences. Prepare to be happy. No doubt about it. Be hard at first, but nothing good comes easy, and you’ll get there.”

Anyone seeking help should call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a free, confidential, 24/7 hotline that can be reached at 1-800-799-7233 or the TTY line 1-800-787-3224. The hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit https://www.thehotline.org/.

A woman on the sofa, looking upset
File photo of a woman sitting on a sofa looking upset and worried. The internet criticized a man for prioritizing his ex-girlfriend over his current partner’s birthday plans.
Rawpixel / Getty Images